| Dr Gerry Mander: the therapist the stars trust | rafael behr Help! I love wearing baseball caps but it's got me and my friend into troubleDear Dr ManderI am a middle-aged man with a successful political career. But I have an embarrassing predilection. I sometimes wear baseball caps. It is not a new thing. I wore one many years ago at a carnival. But there was a great press hoo-ha, so I resolved never to don one in public again. But then I found a baseball cap that fitted me particularly well. And, since I was not in government at the time, I saw no reason not to sport it in the company of a young friend. He and I have often exchanged hat tips. His advice on the subject was vital during the election campaign, so I appointed him my milliner-in-chief at the Foreign Office. But these events have been distorted by the media into crude smears. I have been forced into a humiliating public account of my headgear preferences. My hatter has resigned. Surely, what a man wears in the company of his friends is his own business.W HagueDear Mr HagueThere is no shame in wearing baseball caps, but it is worth recalling how recently they have been accepted as part of a grown man's wardrobe. Such tolerance is always slower in reaching figures in public life. An unspoken law demands that politicians shield their bonces more soberly than the wider public. But your situation is complicated by the fact that you put your friend on the public payroll. The suspicion was bound to arise that he was preferred more for the peak of his cap than his professional competence.Not to have foreseen that danger was a mistake. But that does not diminish your right to wear what you choose. There are probably many men in positions like yours, stuck in suits, craving the liberation of denim, baseball cap and shades. Embrace the look and be a role model to repressed dressers everywhere.Dear Dr ManderRule one: I am the Lord your God; thou shalt have no other gods before me. How hard can it be? Pretty hard, apparently because people keep denying me. The latest is this guy Hawking, who claims to know how the universe works, says there are many parallel universes and that it's all held to together by superstring or silly putty or some such. Anyway, he says that with all these multiple universes, it stands to reason that I don't exist. The chutzpah! That was six days' graft. I've a good mind to smite him.YawehDear Yaweh,You are understandably irritated by unbelief and idolatry. But vengeance is a very BC response. The current fashion is to set out arguments, as Stephen Hawking has done, in book form. You have not revealed your Word for several centuries now, which has left the field open to your detractors. A return to print could be a good way to reach a new audience. For tips on how to pitch the narrative so it is chatty in tone but with the hauteur of an omniscient being, and also for examples of how to settle old scores in memoir form, get yourself a copy of A Journey by your faithful disciple T Blair.Dear Dr ManderWe are writing to alert you to a possible breach of security with regard to your mobile phone account. Our records show unauthorised attempts were made to access your voicemail records remotely. Our investigation has traced the source of the attempts to an address in Downing Street, London SW1. We are pursuing the matter further. Meanwhile, we strongly recommend you change your voicemail access passcode as soon as possible.Customer services manager, VodaComNetDear SirI deal with high-profile clients in the world of media and government, for whom privacy is an issue of paramount importance. I would therefore appreciate maximum discretion on this matter and, to avoid causing undue distress, would request that the police not be notified at this time.Dr Gerry Mander shares his consulting room with Rafael BehrWilliam HagueStephen HawkingReligionDr Gerry Manderguardian.co.uk © Guardian News & Media Limited 2010 | Use of this content is subject to our Terms & Conditions | More Feeds guardian.co.uk |
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